psalm 44

"Arouse Yourself, why do You sleep, O Lord? Awake, do not reject us forever. Why do You hide Your face and forget our affliction and our oppression? For our soul has sunk down into the dust; Our body cleaves to the earth. Rise up, be our help, and redeem us for the sake of Your lovingkindness."

psalm 44:23-26

psalm 73

"When my heart was embittered and I was pierced within, Then I was senseless and ignorant; I was like a beast before You. Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For, behold, those who are far from You will perish; You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works." psalm 73:21-28

ho-hum

so i'm back from skiing with the dad. good times. i enjoyed colorado very much. i shall hopefully be going back there next winter. throw it down on some blacks. boo-yah. note to self: remember to make sure my calf muscles are up to it. def had a borders across the street from my hotel, so that was nice. hit it up for some reading. and of course buying a random cd. whoop. todays mission boys and girls is to figure who panjabi mc is. and why david is listening to european clubbin music that has a citar in it, with lyrics in indian. but i must admit it sounds really cool. yay music. speaking of, props to mark for calling what i was listening to. impressive. new band for me that you should all be listening to... breaking benjamin. think pillar, so yes they rock. its the halo 2 song for all you gamers. sweetness. went to 52 right before that. needed it. sky ranch is good for me. good folks, staff and friends, even though the two are the same. work there again before russia? only time shall tell. awesome to catch up with some old friends. while there i was thinking about that verse that paul talks about in philippians ch 3. "

8 "More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,"

and i thought of word i would put in there for rubbish. and i think that the word i would use is pretty unmentionable. i think it has the connotation that i want and contributes best to the way that i want to feel about everything else that gets in my way of knowing Christ. interesting thing to think about. i wondered at first if i wanted to use that word because of what people might think if i said it, but i think that it is. i take comments on this if anyone has an opinion btw.

been agitated the last couple of days. not sure why. really out of it. not sure if its because i'm about to embark on something that i do not know how to really do cause it is hard, or if something bad is going to happen, or its just the ache in my soul for not being perfect. i really have no idea. and i haven't been able to be in the LORD's presence so that i can hear about it. tried to today but just got interrupted by the parents. maybe try again lata. have my coffee so that should keep me awake. but you might have to shoot me though, i poured skim milk into it. i know, shocker, but it was all we had. anyways, dont' want to freak yall out. things are well with me even though they are hard. i am confident of the way i'm going in things. so thats always nice. just hope that God's grace will be with me, cause i need it. and i know that he is faithful. heres your quote, its from isaiah 42:

6 "I am the LORD, I have called You in righteousness, I will also hold You by the hand and watch over You, And I will appoint You as a covenant to the people, As a light to the nations,
7 To open blind eyes, To bring out prisoners from the dungeon and those who dwell in darkness from the prison.
8 "I am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, Nor My praise to graven images.
9 "Behold, the former things have come to pass, Now I declare new things; Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you."

rock out.