first upstream

so first upstream was tonight. whoop fo sho. its gonna be tight. i can't wait to see how God is going to grow these freshman and use me and laura to do it. pray for more guys for my group. there were a bunch at upstream but we just got a bad skew in my group. no biggie, got dibs on all the ones from next week. lol. good times. i pray that God will reveal Himself to our group in amazing ways and we will all grow to know Him more because of it. so def whoop for that.

so things are better with the previous post, in case yall were all freaking out with me. i kinda was told the wrong thing, but its still not good. its going to be rough to get this all worked out, but i'm going to stay around and do it. no matter what it takes. thanks to the folks who listen to me talk about it and imed or called me to see how i was, i really appreciate it, i needed it. yay for friends who love me. i love yall too. yay for getting and emailing barbara today. that made me happy. plus, guess whose going to take a free russian language class on campus on sunday nights?? yeah thats right, me. how sweet is that? whoop fo sho too. so now i'll be ready for next summer. lol. not really, but i'll know some which is awesome.

so one of my earlier posts talked about, love the emotion and the deeper kind. today i was praying and really got the impression that the deeper kind involves the knowing what it is and what it feels like. it being God's presence. even when it doesnt come with feelings cause i'm convinced it doesn't always and that these feelings are the end all be all. i read 2 tim 1:12, "...i know the one in whom i have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what i have entrusted to Him until that day." like worship tonight, i knew that God was there because i know what to look for, at least alittle. not saying i know all about worship or have "arrived".
but that was here tonight, the thoughts and heart stuff, even if the feelings weren't which is fine. but yeah, i really don't know much about this at all still. still prayin that God will teach me more, and that He will teach me to love Him more. that He would be more intimate with me. and thats another thing i will pursue and wait for. whoop. anyways, thats it for me right now i think. heres your quote:

"There is the will of the people to endure and fight oppression. I think we call it the American spirit." john steinbeck